the first few weeks of winter

are a jolly time for all

sleigh bells ring, children sing

friends and neighbors call

and if you are lucky enough to have them

all off work, or out of school

be joyful your vacation,

from there itís up to your nation

brand new scarves and britches,

cookies for little snitches

toys, or coal and switches,

fast away theyíll pass

your season may be chanuka,

or christmastime or kwanzaa

but letís agree on one thing:

holidays my ass

catalogues and discount flyers

fill the sanitation pyres

all reduced to embers

each twenty-sixth of December

serve eggnog, ale or spritzen,

save some for donner and blitzen

and dedicate your kitchen

to memories that last

let kwame have his kwanzaa,

and harvey have his chanuka,

for me, the tide be christmas:

holidays my ass

holidays my ass